Hannas Hold On!

January 23, 2020

I’m a big dreamer sometimes.  At one point, I really wanted to design a family website.  I didn’t have the knowledge or tools to do it at the time.  But I remember clearly the message that I wanted to pass on to my children, their children, and on down.  It was, “Hannas Hold On”!  I would be happy if it became our family motto.

I remember hearing a story shared in a General Conference talk about workers clinging to a bridge.  I went looking for the talk this morning.  Here’s a link:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2009/10/hold-on?lang=eng
 
The talk starts with this story:
A number of years ago, a one-inch article in my local newspaper caught my attention, and I have remembered it ever since: “Four people were killed and seven workers were rescued after clinging for more than an hour to the underside of a 125-foot-high [38-m] bridge in St. Catharines, Ontario, [Canada,] after the scaffolding they were working on collapsed” (“News Capsules,” Deseret News, June 9, 1993, A2).
I was, and I continue to be, fascinated by this brief story. Shortly after reading this account, I called a family friend who lived in St. Catharines. She explained that the workers had been painting the Garden City Skyway bridge for about a year and were two weeks short of completing the project when the accident happened. After the accident, officials were asked why these men did not have any safety equipment. The answer was simple: they had the equipment; they just chose not to wear it. After the scaffolding gave way, the survivors held on to a one-inch (2.5-cm) lip of steel girder and stood on an eight-inch (20-cm) ledge of steel for over an hour until rescue teams could reach them. One survivor related that as he clung to the bridge, he thought a lot about his family. He said, “I just thank the Lord for me being here today. … It was pretty scary, I tell you” (in Rick Bogacz, “Skyway Horror,” Standard, June 9, 1993).

One thing that I think has surprised me most about this life, is how few things go like I expect them to.  I don’t know why, but somehow, I didn’t expect all the challenges we’ve run into.  I’m sure I suffered somewhat from what I’ll call the “happily ever after syndrome”.  I knew I wanted a husband and family.  I’m so grateful to have been blessed with both!  I just had NO IDEA HOW HARD IT WOULD BE!!

Marriage for starters; I had no inkling just how crazy hard it would be to navigate happily.  And I am so blessed to be married to a very good man!  He is my greatest blessing!!
 
Then there’s all the unexpected challenges with kids.  For us, a lot of it has been health and learning related. 

Child number one spent his whole first year sick every few weeks, and his second year sicker.  Chronic croup, ear infection after ear infection, and then asthma.  We didn’t find out that’s what it was until he was three and we finally got outside the Navy medical system while attending the University of Washington.  Lots of scary nights turning blue at times, or with his whole body rocking just to try and breathe, skin sucking in around his ribs.  Thank Heavens child number two and three were more healthy.  Child number one got healthier as time went on as well.

Three little boys whom I adored.  I love boys!  Always a wrestling match by dinner time.  Which was all fun and games until someone got hurt.  So much fun though.  I knew I didn’t want to be doing anything else.  Their dad in the Navy, and often out to sea or gone elsewhere.  Super tough on relationships.  I often wonder if when people thank military members for their service, if they have any idea the toll it takes on their most important relationships.

Then we had a big space between kids.  We thought we were done.  Eight years later, I remember thinking the nurse had to be wrong when she told me we were expecting again.  Not that I wasn’t happy about it, it had just been so long, it seemed unreal.  That brought some of the most challenging months I’ve had.  And a wonderful blessing; our little girl.  Almost three months early, and just over one and a half pounds.

Six years later, we were blessed with one last baby boy.  We considered it a great success for him to make it to five pounds, and only have a two-week NICU stay.  An adorable little guy with blond hair and big blue eyes, who cried round the clock long past the point they say that it is colic.  No sleep through the night for three years, multiple GI docs, and finally, peace and healthy development, after getting put on an Amino Acid Based elemental formula, at three years old.  He didn’t tolerate food.  His immune system attacked and damaged his GI tract when he ate any of it.

Learning isn’t easy for four of our five.  We have struggled with ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia, nonverbal learning disorders, sensory integration disorder, anxiety, depression, and traumatic brain injury.  However, each has been blessed with significant talents! I believe they each have the exact talents they need to accomplish their missions in this life.  And yes, I truly believe we each have things that we are supposed to accomplish in this life.

One of the hardest challenges has been watching two children in their teens spiral down health-wise with severe exhaustion and numerous other difficulties.  Then to have debilitating illness last into adulthood, with no sign of leaving.  One being diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, and one with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS).

The only reason I touch on these hard things, is they are the things that I have, and still need to “HOLD ON” through.  We are each going to have them.  They won’t look the same, but at some point, they most assuredly will collapse our scaffolding, and leave us clinging for dear life by our fingertips.

I want my kids and grand kids to be prepared to hold on.  We are studying Lehi’s dream in the Book of Mormon right now.  I want them to use their safety gear by “holding fast” to the iron rod.  Or in other words, by studying the scriptures daily and praying.  I want them to know they have a Heavenly Father who loves them and does not leave them alone in their trials.  Even if, because of mental health or physical issues, they are seldom able to feel His Spirit. (The biggest trial of all, I think).

As I was searching for the Canadian news story about workers left clinging for life from a bridge, I found another article.  Here’s the link:
https://metro.co.uk/2017/05/03/strangers-hold-onto-man-for-two-hours-after-he-threatens-to-jump-off-bridge-6612363/

Strangers happened upon a man who was going to jump from a bridge.  They didn’t know him or each other.  They each held onto this man so that he wouldn’t fall.  Some attaching ropes or belts to help hold him fast.
 
I hope that not only will we hold onto our Heavenly Father with the tools and safety gear he has given us, but we will also hold onto each other!  I get a small glimpse of how precious we each must be to our Heavenly Father, when I think about how precious each member of my family is to me!  There are not words to express it. 

I hope we can hold onto each other as a family.  And I hope we, in turn, will hold onto others of our Heavenly Father’s children when they need help, and do our best to help them get to safety as well.

We’ve become a little acquainted with the Clan Hannay over the last several years, which is the Scottish Clan that my husband’s Hanna family comes from.  The Hannay Clan Motto is 'Per Ardua Ad Alta' which means 'Through difficulties to Heaven'. 

Now that is exactly what I’m talking about!  We are all going to go through difficulties.  Let’s keep our eye on where we want to end up.  Hold fast to our Heavenly Father and his commandments, which will get us where we want to go.  Please know that he will be with you.  He will guide you. He will help you hold on.  And hold on to each other, and those around you who are needing it!  There are way more needing it than you might imagine.

In Lehi’s vision, the result of holding fast to the iron rod, is the Tree of Life and a fruit that is sweet above any other fruit.  It is joy.  Or to quote Scripture Scouts, it is “The sweet and tender love of God”.  Only by holding on, will we find true happiness.  Let’s all “HOLD ON”!